The Itch (Fictional Short Story - Male Protagonist)

And the cars flash by... life flashes by... I score... I score! Oh well... I almost scored.

24 hours of Need For Speed Most Wanted isn't enough to relieve my boredom...

[Alt + Tab]

MIRC and no one interesting online...

There are a million and one thoughts in my brain but I'm not concentrating on any of 'em.. a bit like having a dozen rockbands clashing in my head to different tempos... altogether too confusing...

My desk vibrates... I swivel around and crane my neck to see the caller Id. The blue screen flashes her name at me. A sick feeling in my stomach now...

I turn back to my pc and stare at the monitor... the pxels stare back at me. I feel empty, it's strange. I plug my headphones in and blast the Chains. It's a good song, but thats not it, I want to get that ringing, vibrating piece of shit out of my head. I want that bitch out of my head.
I turn on the volume, close my eyes and lean back.

'Down in a hole and I dont know if I can be saved'

'Can't meet you here tomorrow, say goodbye don't follow...'

'Now the body of one soul I adore, wants to die...'

Phrase after phrase, echoed in my head... and slowly flooded me with memories, things I'd forgotten, or tried to.

I tapped my fingers on the mouse keys... to the bea... till it became almost hypnotic... then struck me as familiar...

'Click click'

The sound of her stilettoes across the vinyl floor.

'Click click'

Echoed as she walked out of the room.

'Click click'

Walked out of my house in the middle of the night. Walked out of my life.

'Drumroll'

Walked straight into the arms of this rich bastard... pretty boy with all his visa cards... and I just stood there, broken...humiliated.

Beautiful girls deserve beautiful things. I don't think I'd mind if she left me, (well of course I would, but not half as much) if she really loved someone else... with even an ounce of... integrity. But she left me to be a trophy girl to some casanova.

The thing with trophies is that trophies get old and outdated... a new conquest constantly replaces the old, and that's exactly what happened. Hugh Hefner aint exactly having the same Bunny he had in 1980 now is he?

I suddenly burst into a mini coughing fit. Damn the tobacco fucks me up! But what the hell... I gotta have ma one disposable buddy... the gf that 'I' have the authority to friggin throw away and replace as I please... yeah baby...

I won't say she ruined my life... Coz she really didn't have the power to. But she is why my life got screwed up... I'll say that much. If not for her, I wouldn't have turned into a psychotic crazed son of a bitch who was incapable of making any sort of simple decisions, much less anything drastic.... or a love sick loony hanging around her like some pathetic wannabe... like a gayyyy prick...

I was in love with her mirage... a naive cute little girl who dreamt of big things... so blinded by the light that I couldn't see beyond the illusion... the vain, calculating, manipulating and ambitious woman who would stop at nothing to get what she wants... and as it turned out, diamonds were definitely her best friend...

My friends who used to respect my judgement and decisions came to PITY me... SYMPATHISED me... and there was nothing worse than them feeling sorry for me... maybe it's my wounded pride, whatever it is it was hell.

The world's unfair. It's also predictable. And when Ms. Pretty got dumped she came back, like I knew she would. Came back to the safe, good guy who will always be waiting. The sucker. Well guess what? It wasn't gonna be me. I had enough of Hero.

And she played every fucking card. Every single fucking trick. Like the whore she undoubtedly was.

I remember walking into my room one night. And there she was waiting for me... incredibly brazen...and so damn sexy... I was at odds with my self.... be furious at her intrusion of my privacy... amused at her unfaltering determination... but I did curse her for breaking my resolve... succumbing and making me hate my self for my weakness...

I hated how my life was apparently a little entertaining game for her... and in this childish little chess game... my family and friends were her pawns as well...

'That girl he's hanging around with Mom.... she's only after his money... not like me, I've loved him always'

Check mate.

'His friends are druggies... he shouldn't hang around with them. I tried warning him, now they all are turning him against me'

Check mate.

'Hey dudes, you know... he said that he's changing your studio into a bedroom so we can have a better time... Sorry guys...'

Check mate.

Mind you, I was oblivious to most of these imaginative concotions.

I didn't understand to some extent... why her tears kept pouring down. She left me, confined me to my room... made me a social disaster... how could I trust her again? If she loved me like she kept saying she does, she would have stayed with me... she made her mind to be his little sex toy was like selling her soul to satan as far as I am concerned... Seemed to me like she couldn't stand to see me happy...

Too late... why cry, if she left me? Women... Don't get 'em... and they have the balls to say (welll yeah I know technically they don't but what the hell you get me yeah?) that men are hard to understand? Yeah right. And the sky is green.

I wasn't about to serve as justification for any sort of guilt she may be suffering. Fucking deserved it.

She made me a friggin' criminal infront of everyone who mattered to me... made it seem like she was the only one left... but her games didn't disillusion me... and never will... the living hell that is my life, is a movie directed by me, so there is no kasoti going on anywhere if I can help it.

So... I went from being frustrated. To not caring. Plain-ass ignoring. Hating silently, but refusing to react. Receeded into a shell. Watched, rather detachedly as everyone soon picked through her plans. Watched her fall... and remained watching. There was a time I would have done anything to protect her... now I just simply, did not care. It wasn't vengence... I just erased her... she was dead to me...

I stared again at the vibrating phone... I see beyond it... I pick up a strip, delicately fill in with flakes... roll... lick... smoothen... lights... suck, breath in... hold, release... I feel lighter, woozy even... repeat... destructive thoughts fade away...

Got that scowl lifted off my face. See y'all... aint too hard 'tall to be happy... the secret of life...

My O2 XDAII keeps vibrating... barely registers... got a pretty shine, it does...I watch as it moves further... drops... and shatters into a million pieces....

And in the one closest to me... I can see a distorted version of me... And I'm smiling...